• Sep 22, 2023
Vulnerability is Power. Someone I trust and respect told me that once. It made sense to me at that moment. It was at a time when I was personally at a high point. I could see the impact I was having at the moment, and the comment made complete sense.
But what is vulnerability? In the context of this discussion, I am referring to emotional vulnerability. Where we are willing to share some aspect of ourselves that few, if any, people know. We are taking a risk, which could have both positive and negative outcomes.
But how is a risk a positive outcome? It isn’t the outcome that is the risk per se, but our projection of how the others in the conversation are going to react and respond to what we are sharing. They could be completely supportive. Or they may not. I said to someone recent ly that the level of vulnerability, the depth of what I was sharing at that moment, was such that I felt like I was emotionally naked.
It was raw. It was the right thing to do in the situation I was in. And I really had no hesitation in sharing it. And there was the opportunity for a huge emotional tornado afterward if it went “south”. I would have been damage caused by it.
There is power in being this vulnerable. Let’s face it, though; the level of vulnerability I am describing isn’t something you would normally do at work. Showing others some weakness or aspect of yourself can also create opportunities for others to know it is safe for them to share similar information. We are creating a safe place in whatever that relationship is. It is called trust.
When trust is present, the depth of the emotional vulnerability increases. When trust isn’t well established, that emotionally vulnerable moment helps build that trust.
There can also be a big risk. I am not just talking about a significantly negative response, but when we transfer the power of that vulnerable moment to the other person. When we share some secret and let their response affect our view of ourselves. For example, if I share something deeply important to me and you decide to reject me in the process, I question my view of about accepting me.
There is another analogy: being this emotionally vulnerable is like being glass. First, they can see all the way through with absolute clarity. Nothing is hidden. But any misstep by the other can leave us shattered.
We should always remember there is power and great fear in being vulnerable with someone. We need to be ready for the aftermath regardless of what it is. And there is always a time and a place. Most importantly, though, if we are being asked or feel pushed to share something we don’t want to, then don’t.
Leave the glass on the counter.